I'm taking what I can get

I've been pretty down lately. One way I've been trying to cope with this is to look for really good things in everyday life that I usually don't pay a lot of attention to. Here are a few of my extraordinary pleasures from ordinary everyday things:

My really old Honda Civic gets my feet so toasty warm on the way to the gym every morning
Deciding which shoes to wear
The way my daughter's neck smells
The way my dogs are always happy to see me
Buying flowers at Trader Joes every week for my chartreuse Fiestaware vase
Going to the bathroom alone
The smell of the lotion I have at my desk - it reminds me of the shopping trip I had with Dianne

And then sometimes I'm reminded of how lucky I am in unexpected ways. Like when I was uploading photos from the camera, and found this:

I'm not sure what the story is behind this video, but it makes me laugh. My kids are hilarious. You should hear my daughter's dirty knock knock jokes.

What cheers you up? I'm open to new ideas.....

Awesome stuff I bought today

Today I was going to do all the stuff around the house I've been meaning to catch up on. You know - laundry, sorting some piles of stuff, and putting things away that need putting away.

Instead, I went shopping. I didn't mean to. I was just going to run a few needed errands, but really good stuff kept coming into my line of vision. Here's what I got:

Ice cube trays that make teeth shaped ice cubes

Transparent(!) Converse

A carousel that holds k-cups. These are the little pods that fit inside of my coffee maker, Sam. Thankfully the Keurig company makes a spinning rack to house all the pod varieties. How did I ever live without this?

Sam and his new best friend!

Lily Pulitzer sunglasses that were marked down from $175 to $10



A frame for an old picture I recently found of me and Mr. Sulu

Skullcaps for keys. These are little rubber things that fit over your keys so that you can I.D. similar looking keys easier. They also make your key chain more fun.

Boring, old key chain


New, exciting key chain with skeleton keys (and one key-tar from Rebecca)

I'm sure you can see why I needed every single one of these items. I'm trying to feel bad that I never got to any of those things I've been meaning to do. Maybe tomorrow....

Regular, decaf, or chauvinism?

I was in Spokane weekend before last. A lot of the main streets of Spokane have the same kind of look and feel as Highway 99 here in the Seattle area. But I couldn't help thinking as we drove around, that something was missing. And then I figured it out; Spokane didn't have one, single sexy espresso stand!



Here along Highway 99 in the Lynnwood/Everett area, you can't drive more than a half mile without passing a place named "Hot Coffee", "Java Juggs", "Peek a Brew", or "Twin Perks".

Really. Those are real places.

I'm not sure why drive-through espresso stand owners decided that the general public wanted their coffee made by teenage girls wearing g-strings, but the trend is spreading like wildfire.

I'm not a big prude, but something about these stands really gets me mad. If a girl in an espresso stand was wearing a bikini at the beach, you wouldn't think twice. But when a girl is wearing pasties, making coffee inside a wood shack along the highway in 40 degree weather, it just seems SO sexist.

There's nothing wrong with a girl wearing a bikini, and yes, sex sells, but come on, what's next? Sexy burger joints? Sexy car washes? Sexy Blockbusters? (Note to self: invest in sexy car wash)

I just don't like the idea of normalizing sexuality with our everyday food items. If you want to see scantily clad ladies, there are already options for you out there. These businesses and the people that patronize them are kidding themselves if they think the only thing these stands are selling is coffee.

There's something extra pathetic about a guy that chooses to get a sexual thrill while getting his morning coffee. It's easy to ignore this trend and say, i don't care where people buy their coffee, and businesses are free to sell their products however they like. And I agree with that. I just find it sad as a woman, a mom, and a person with a brain, that these businesses are SO popular. What does that say about women in our society? And worse, what does that say about men?

I don't know... am I overreacting?

This is what I would have said

I went to a memorial service for my friend this weekend. I choose not to speak, for many reasons, but if I had, I would have said something like this:

I'm probably the luckiest person in the world. I spent what are for many, the worst, most awkward years of life, with a person who not only made those years into a fun-filled adventure, I spent those years and many beyond, with a person whose originality, talent, beauty, and humor were incomparable.

Here's a short list of things I did with her over the years, that I'll probably never do again:

shopping cart races in vacant lots
sing opera
meow
breaking & entering
smoking at a playground
drinking wine from a box
dinosaur impersonations
jumping over lit fireworks
drawing pictures of pigs
debating the fate of characters from "Lost"
stalking teachers
perfume fights

I was always in awe of this beautiful, smart, wonderful girl that wanted to be my friend. She wasn't just part of my life, she changed my life.

Saying goodbye to her means saying goodbye to part of myself - saying goodbye to my youth, saying goodbye to the girl I used to be, saying goodbye to the me that had her in her my life.

I'm not just saying goodbye to someone I loved with all my heart, I'm saying goodbye to someone that loved me in return just as much. It was a love that I felt, heard, and knew in my heart every day for the past 20 years. It's a love that I'm having a very hard time living without.

I miss her - it's a physical pain. I'll miss her as long as I live. And I thank her, so very much, for being my friend.

It's A Boy!!!

I brought home my new baby today! He's about 11 inches high, weighs 10 pounds, and has the prettiest blue LED lights you've ever seen. I named him Sam.

Sam is a full service beverage station. He makes coffee, tea, hot chocolate, iced tea, and more! He always brews a perfect cup no matter what I'm in the mood for.

My husband seems slightly concerned that I've anthropomorphized a coffee maker, but Sam is special. He's attractive, smart, and makes no mess what so ever. I love him.

Hello, Sam!

See you in hell, obsolete appliances!

I know many of you were on team I-Pod, but I just couldn't go home today without Sam. He's part of the family now. I'm sure you'll all want to come over and meet him, and I know he'd love to prepare a perfect beverage just for you!

The pitfalls of youtube

I passionately hate the movie "Alvin and the Chipmunks". It was stupid, not funny, inane, and had horrible, tragic music. My son looooved it. But even more, he loves that I hate it. He enjoys putting on the DVD, just to torture me, and when my mom took him shopping, he picked out an Alvin t-shirt, just because he knew I'd hate it. He loves to wear his Alvin shirt, and then point out it out to me taunting me, "loook what I'm wearing, ha ha ha!".

Needless to say, when the stupid sequel movie came out last week, "Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Squeakquel", my son wanted to see it.

To deflect the topic, and hope he'd forget that he'd been begging me to take him to the movies, I confessed that when I was a kid, I actually liked Alvin and the Chipmunks. In fact, I watched them every Saturday morning, because they had a cartoon. Naturally, my son was interested, so I tried to sing the theme song. "We're the Chipmunks, something, something, never before, we're the chipmunks, Alvin, Simon, Theodore!"

Then I had the brilliant idea to show him the opening theme song on youtube. A quick search found the clip I wanted, and I pushed play:




Oops!

Colin and I laughed so hard at this, we both had tears in our eyes. Who was expecting that?! Here's a lesson for all of you, check your youtube videos out BEFORE showing your kids.

I-Pod vs. Coffee Maker

Every year I spend so much money at Costco, they send me a rebate (because I feel extra special paying the $100 executive membership fee). I got a check for $120 this year, and instead of just using it to buy my usual Costco goods like a fiscally responsible person, I buy something fun. I have a theory that rebate money, i.e. free money, should be spent on something out of the ordinary.

This year I've narrowed down the selection to two exciting choices; I-Pod or fancy coffee maker. Both have their pros and cons.

I-Pod

Pros:

I can watch tv/movies on the bus

I can put all my music on it

New I-Pods are cool

Cons:

I-tunes is kind of pricey for the TV shows I'd want

I never have time to listen to music anyways

I already have a shuffle to use in the car and gym

New fancy coffee maker

Pros:

So cool!

Easy, fast, no clean-up

No beans to buy or grind or spill all over the counter

Gadgety and awesome

Current coffee maker has fargin, broken handle

Cons:

Coffee pods are more expensive than beans

I can't think of anything else bad about it

Cast your votes now, readers! New I-Pod, or fancy schmancy coffee maker?

Christmas crafting is fine, but it's time to get serious.

I made dozens upon dozens of bath bombs and soaps for Christmas gifts this year. I'm still perfecting my recipes, and I even bought some new colorants to experiment with soon. Soap and bath bomb making is just a way of life now. It's a given, like fancy birthday biscotti baking, or Mother's Day apron sewing. Crafting is just a part of life.

But my main, number one, insanity inducing, obsessive-compulsive disorder crafting is, and always will be: Competitive Cross Stitch.

I've been cross stitching for about 25 years. Not a big hobby for most kids and teens, but for some reason, it's always been something I've stuck with. And not to brag, but I'm pretty damn good at it.

Every year we go to the state fair, and every year I look at the cross stitch entries and think, "My stuff is better than this, I should enter next year and win." Two years ago, I finally put my money where my mouth was and entered this:

Antique shoes, 11x17 inches, 14 count fabric

This won a first place, blue ribbon in its division. Pretty good, but I wanted better. I spent the next entire year working on this:

Geisha, 12x18 inches, 18 count fabric

This was an extremely difficult pattern. I should have won the Best in Show ribbon I was aiming for, but I won the Runner Up to the Best in Show ribbon instead. I was robbed! But that's a long, tedious story which contains WAY more info about cross stitching than most people want to know.

This year I'm going to try again. I found a retro 1982 pattern book with a full-scale replica of a Monopoly Board. The finished size will be 24x24 inches on 18 count fabric. It's going to be awesome. The fair deadlines are due in August, which means I have five months to finish. That may sound like a lot of time, but take it from me, it isn't. I couldn't count the overtime hours I've put in each June, July and August trying to finish before my deadline. It gets pretty intense.

What I've done so far:

I have a lot of obsessive stitching to get done...

Retail therapy is a valid form of Psychiatry

When I feel blue, there's no better cure than a little shopping. Bargain hunting is a passion, and finding awesome stuff at awesome prices is a mood elevator better than chocolate, better than seeing the trailer for the new A-Team movie, and better than drunkenly playing old Sega Genesis games.

I've really needed to have my mood lifted a lot lately, so my shopping time has been on the rise. Here's a partial list of things I've recently purchased:

3 new pairs of shoes

Lucky brand purse

5 sweaters

3 shirts

"Lost" seasons 3 and 5

"True Blood" season 1

"Entourage" season 1

2 skirts

4 pairs of tights

bathroom rug

7 book set of Charlane Harris novels

4 book set of Laurel K. Hamilton novels

2 Tank tops

Coin purse

Crafting supplies

Fiestaware fruit bowls

I think there's probably more, but I can't even remember it all right now. Today is the last day at Macy's of their 75-80% off sale, plus an additional 15% with coupon, so I may have to go back and take a quick spin through the racks. Everything I buy is a super bargain, so I figure it's cheaper than real therapy, right?

Sometimes you just want to be selfish

Before my husband got laid off from WAMU, this was my schedule:

4:45am wake up
5:35 catch bus
6:00 get to work
10:00 get off work, take hubby to work
10:45 get home
11:00-2:00 clean house, lunch, run errands, entertain baby, etc.
2:30 pick son up from school
3:00-5:30 finish house work, finish errands, do stuff with kids, etc.
5:30pm make dinner
6:00 eat dinner
7:00 dishes/clean up
8:00 kids bath time
8:30 kids bedtime
9:00 I pass out from exhaustion

Here's my schedule now:

4:45am wake up
5:45 get to gym for swimming
7:00 catch bus
8:00 get to work
4:30pm leave work
6:00 get home/eat dinner
7:00 kid time
8:00 kids bath/bedtime
9:00 I pass out from exhaustion

Technically, I do less now that I'm working full-time, but I'm still just as, or more, tired by 9:00pm. I also spend my weekends doing the errands I used to do on the weekends, and doing laundry. I do not allow my husband to do the laundry. He does it WRONG and it drives me crazy. I hate that I'm not the one in charge of my house right now. Only I do the dishes right. Only I put the knick knacks in their correct positions. Only I clear the tables and wipe them down correctly. Only I put all the kids' toy pieces back in their correct storage containers. Only I hang up coats on the coat rack, instead of the treadmill.
I'm not sure of what the point of this post is, other than to say this: Sometimes, when you work all week, and work all weekend, sometimes you just want to not work, and do the dishes later. Sometimes you just want to play a tequila shot drinking game while you watch the Golden Globes, and not pick up the table. Sometimes your best friend dies, and all you want is a god damn hug. Sometimes you are seeing red at the person you are married to , but instead of talking you choose to blog about it. Sometimes you are stressed out because you just (literally - see Jewish funeral traditions) buried your uncle AND have to go this weekend to your best friend's memorial service, at which you have been told by her sister that her dad's speech will insult you and blame you for her mental illness.
But maybe it's just me?.....

I am the worst Tooth Fairy ever

My son lost a tooth the other night. I totally forgot about my tooth fairy duties until I was getting ready the next morning at 5am. I hurriedly checked my wallet for cash, which I usually never have, and found four one dollar bills. Not bad for a tooth, right? But the thing is, back when he lost his very first tooth, and it was a big, exciting deal (short story: string tied around the dog's ball) (toy ball, not the other kind) I gave him five bucks.

"Five bucks?!" My husband cried. "When I was a kid, I got a quarter for a tooth." I know it sounds like my husband is 65 years old, but he actually isn't even 40 yet. I figured five bucks was a generous amount, but it isn't like you can really buy anything good for five bucks these days. I didn't realize that I was setting the bar to five bucks for EVERY tooth. Five bucks times 28 teeth (or whatever kids have) is a lot of money over the tooth-loosing years.

But for this tooth, I only had four bucks. It would just have to be good enough. I crept into his room, hoping i wouldn't wake him up. In the darkness, I didn't see the plastic water bottle that for some stupid reason he had next to his bed. CLUNK, CLUNK, THWAK! That's the noise a falling plastic bottle makes on hardwood floors at 5am.

I made the switch, but he stirred in his sleep. I ran out of his room. "Mommy, what are you doing in my room?" he called. I poked my head in, feigning surprise. "I wasn't in your room. You were just dreaming." He didn't buy it.

But he was more concerned with his money. "Four dollars? I got five dollars last time!" He was dismayed. "Well," I offered, "you know how unreliable fairies are. Maybe she hid the other dollar somewhere else."

"The tooth fairy for boys is a man" my son insists. I decided not to share that I wasn't thrilled with the idea of a grown man in fairy wings coming into his room in the middle of the night.

"What does the tooth fairy do with the teeth?" he wanted to know. My quick-thinking answer? "Eats them."

See? I'm a horrible tooth fairy.

When it rains it pours

It's a good thing I had such a great day yesterday, because today was crap. My uncle died this morning, and I spent a good portion of today looking for funeral clothes for the family. Did you know that it's pretty hard to find a black dress for a two year old?

It's weird to lose my uncle. He's of course been in my life since I was born, but never a major player. I've seen him lots of times over the years, but we never spoke more than, "what's new?", "not much", and "yeah, me too".
I have a really small family, so he's leaving a good sized hole behind. My granny is beside herself, even at 85, losing a child is the worst pain ever.

I've always kind of grouped my uncle together with my dad. They look a lot alike. Losing my uncle makes me think about losing my dad, which is a nightmare to consider. My uncle is gone, and at some point in the future my dad and mom will be gone, too. Which then puts me at the front of the line.

Cheery, I know. What can I say? I'd really appreciate it if all of you could not die anytime soon, OK?

A Day Well Spent

Today I did something I rarely do. I went out for the afternoon without my kids. I felt kind of guilty about it, because now that I'm working full time, I don't spend as much time with them as I'd like, and I feel bad about that.

I've always tried to go out and do something with friends on a fairly regular basis, but usually I do things in the evening, so that the kids are in bed, and it doesn't matter if I leave them.

I thought that my little one would cry when I left the house today and demand to go with me, as is her usual m.o. when I go to the store or run and errand. Instead she gave me a hug and said good-bye. She's either remarkably intuitive for a two year old, and knew that after so much emotional trauma I needed something fun to do for myself, or she's so used to me leaving her that she doesn't even care anymore. I'm going with the former.

I had a lunch and movie date with two of my friends from work. We ate at a trendy little downtown restaurant that served a variety of kabobs and really spicy, really yummy bloody marys. After lunch we were supposed to go see "New Moon", but the stupid movie section of the Seattle P.I. gave me incorrect info, and there was no showtime when we got to the theatre. Instead we saw "Leap Year", a tedious romcom with Amy Adams and some guy I've never heard of before. Since Amy Adams does not jump off the cliff at the end of the story (which would have been awesome), I do not recommend it.

Did I mention I bought two new pairs of shoes? And they were both bargains, which makes them even better.

From Macy's - Franco Sarto blue suede pumps

From Fluevog's - White sandals with crazy wedge heel

Tonight I'm making my son watch an old Peter Sellers Pink Panther movie with me. And I'm going to drink some fancy bourbon.

Today was a good day.

Grief is like wearing an ugly Christmas sweater you can't take off

I've been doing pretty well for the past week. I knew I needed to let my friend's memory rest in order to move on, so I had my own little informal get together last weekend at the pub we used to have beers at. It wasn't very well-attended, because it was a holiday weekend, so people were out of town or busy - it was so typical of her to die at such a bad time.

My two friends that did come were awesome. Two wonderful guys that were a perfect blend of older and newer memories. Talking with them helped me put the grief away so that I could focus again on my family and my job this past week.

I got through the week pretty well. I'm busy at work and my kids keep me really distracted - it's hard to feel too bad with sweet, little arms around your neck. I've been teaching my daughter about the Justice League. She loves it. Especially Hawk Girl and Wonder Woman. It does my heart good to see her zooming around the house with a Wonder Woman action figure.

I had a bad day today. It's still common for me to dream about her, or wake up and remember right away, which always makes me cry a little. But today was the first day in a while that I was uncontrollably weepy. I discreetly cried at Trader Joes, at Albertsons, and later at Ross.

I keep wishing I could go back in time a few months and say something else to her. Truth is, her recent personal struggles were so exasperating to me, that I wasn't as patient as I could have been. I was short with her. She didn't understand that as a working mom of two I couldn't chat on the phone for an hour. And I knew her mental/physical health history, but I thought I was practicing a form of "tough love", hoping she'd see what she was missing out on, and then using that as a reason to get herself on the road to a better way of living.

Clearly, that was not the way to go.

Why did I take such a stupid approach? Why didn't I just be her friend and listen to what she wanted to talk about? Why the fuck didn't I know she was at the end of her life and do a goddamn thing about it?

These are the things haunting me today. I know in my brain that everyone chooses their own paths in life. My friend chose not to take care of herself and she chose to live her life in a way that was less than healthy for her physical and mental health needs. It's just that even when your brain knows things, your stupid heart can't follow suit.

A few things I hate

Here are a few things I hate right now.

Shaving my legs:

The more you shave, the more it just grows back. If I weren't in my swim suit all the time, I'd be tempted to go Lynnwood and just let it flow. But then it gets to that horrible long-stubble phase where it feels like you could grate cheese right on your knee caps, and I have to get rid of it.
Women get the total short stick on body hair. Smooth legs, smooth armpits, and what ever happened to pubic hair? Hello, post 1995 porn! Women have pubic hair, and there's nothing wrong with that! Have you ever tried to go without it? I have, and it isn't good.


Restaurant.com:

Restaurant.com sounds like a great idea. $25 off certificates for $2 or $3. Problem is that most certificates require you to spend anywhere from $35 to $50. Ok, so your family of four goes out and spends $40 on entrees. You have to spend another $10 to use your certificate, so you order an appetizer for $8. Oh, you need $2 more? How about dessert for the kids, and add on $5 more. Cool, your total is $53. That's a $28 meal, right? Nope. Don't forget the $15 in alcoholic beverages that weren't covered by the certificate, then add in tax and the 18% tip on the pre-discount total. Hey, your bargain dinner was only $70!! Don't you feel stupid for using restaurant.com?

Best Buy:

I hate Best Buy right now because every week they have awesome movie deals for under $10, but then when you go in the store, they're never in stock. Hey, Best Buy! If you're going to have items on sale, plan in advance to have them in stock! Isn't that called bait and switch?
I also hate Best Buy because my "no hassle" warranty on my Nintendo DS is turning into a big hassle. The first time I went in, they wouldn't take it back because I didn't bring the charger. But, I had the original box! Only freaks keep original boxes over a year. How can that not be good enough?! Up yours, Best Buy.

What do you hate right now? Misery loves company....