I've had a headache for over a week now. I finally went to the doctor, because I had a theory that an ear infection was causing my headaches. Turns out my ears are fine. Other than a general fever/cold thing going on, no obvious cause for the headaches.
The doctor asked me if I was under stress. I thought about how I was working full time now, about how my husband was unemployed, about how I used to spend all day with the kids and now it feels like I hardly see them. I thought about how I'm on the go all day from 5:00am until I crash at bedtime. I thought about my completely non-relaxing weekends. And I thought about all the undone things at home I want to get done.
But mostly I thought about how I'm kind of doing a lousy job coping with my best friend's death.
Well, it turns out if you accidentally start crying in front of your doctor, he'll prescribe you some strong anti-inflammatories for your headache, and also Xanax for the rest of you.
I've never taken anything like Xanax before, but he said it was for occasional use for anxiety, and it would also help me sleep. He also asked if I had considered any therapy. I said I hadn't really, because it wasn't like I wasn't able to talk to my friends (or blog to strangers), it was just that I'm so damn sad. I can't really imagine anything a therapist would say that would make me any less sad.
These things just take time, right?
They suggest not drinking on the xanyx but a glass of wine goes well with them on the really tuff days. That's how I get through the family gatherings during the holidays.
ReplyDeleteWatch out...Xanax lingers in your system. I had to stop taking it for dental appts. b/c it would leave me mentally fuzzy for a couple of days. Its also makes you way more prone to being agreeable to everything...which never is a good thing at work :)
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better!
I find if I take 1/2 a Xanax I'm usually good. If not, then throw in the other half. Sleepy looking eyes initially, andaybe even fuzzy headed, but your body gets used to the pills and that tends to go away. I saw let the body get used to them if the truly help. Just don't become an addict! -J
ReplyDeleteYou are coping well, considering all the crap you've been going through. Grieving takes time and it's hard. If the Xanax helps, that's great, but cut yourself some slack too. It's going to take a long time to get over the loss of Shana.
ReplyDelete